RMaxTorres

Spread the Stupidity!

2008-09-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America .......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of tha t stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

My new caseload

2008-08-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

Please click on the following link:

CASELOAD

Reaching and Keeping At-Promise Youth

2008-07-15T08:41:00.001-07:00

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CIS Houston held 'cluster training' and received this workshop presentation on July 15, 2008.

The Winner's Circle

2008-07-07T00:55:00.001-07:00

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After winning the Egg Toss, Sean and Nickii took time for an interview with an Olympic scout.

Fiestas Patrias 2006

2008-06-02T12:12:00.001-07:00

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Radio interview with Alicia Alanis, KSBJ Radio in Houston, Texas [ksbj.org]. Our discussion related to the influence of Latin American cultures in the United States.

Emilio Navaira Tribute

2008-04-03T16:56:00.001-07:00

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visit http://rmaxtorres.com for a larger version

Jesus never fails

2008-03-17T12:16:00.001-07:00

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Pastor Cantu drove in to San Antonio on March 8, 2008 for a family celebration and took the initiative to stop by and pray with my dad and others. At the end of the prayer, he began to sing. As we raised our voices, my heart was filled with joy as I watched my dad join in.

My Bio

2008-03-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

click here for download

Happy Feet - RoofBall!

2008-02-27T08:49:00.000-08:00

take a look at this incredible display of talent...

Please take opportunity to view and comment on this material...

2008-01-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

... because I believe we should be able to ask questions that generate solutions, not just complain without any expectation of resolution.

Connecting with your Audience - Conectando con su Audiencia

2007-08-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

Este informacion fue presentado en la Iglesia Lakewood en Houston. Ellos patrocinaron la conferencia Speak!... Be Heard [Habla!.. sea escuchado]. Favor de dejar comentarios en este sitio para ayudarnos mejorar la informacion para adelantar nuestra comunidad de habla espana.

Bendiciones a su vida!!

Speaking to Inspire - Presentando para Inspirar

2007-08-10T23:58:00.000-07:00

Lakewood Church - Houston sponsored the Speak! 2007 conference on August 11, 2007. These are the slides presented in the Spanish Workshop #1.

The Art of Leadership - El Arte de Liderazgo

2007-07-01T03:16:00.000-07:00

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Kingdom Builders Conference

June 23, 2007 @ Primera Asamblea
You can adjust the volume on this QuickTime file using the controls under the show. Please feel free to use the PowerPoint slides just beneath this entry to follow along with the presentation. You can advance the slides at your leisure.

Kingdom Builders - The Art of Leadership

2007-07-01T03:00:00.000-07:00

The Art of Leadership
- presented by Max Torres to the Houston Section Youth Ministries and accompanying churches and ministries in the Houston Area.

This presentation looks at this issue from the perspective of a painting a Masterpiece.

iPhone drop proves Apple resiliency!

2007-06-30T16:42:00.001-07:00

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I spent iDay interviewing several people in line waiting for their chance at an iPhone. As the evening progressed, I got the bright idea of asking permission to see someones phone out of the hermetically sealed box. "Shawn" agreed, and as he opened the box... well, let the video tell you the whole story.

It became a YouTube! hit in the first 10 hours receiving at least 10 Honors and over 100,000 hits.

TNT BBall Layups

2007-06-26T22:48:00.001-07:00

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Some of the Basketball Champs from a local high school were on the flight deck this Tuesday Night!

Southwest School Class

2007-06-26T06:45:00.001-07:00

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Leadership students at Southwest School on Channel 2 News - June 24, 2007

are we too busy?

2007-06-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

“No amount of activity in the King’s service will make up for the neglect of the King. Himself.” Robert Murray McCheyne.

As I was looking into the material that I was preparing for tomorrow's session, this must be the resounding thud of 'hammer on nail' that I am hearing.

40 Developmental Assets

2007-06-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

ICL Training - Intro, Personal Shield & Habits of Effective Leadership

2007-06-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for the opportunity to share whenever I am able.
This series is from a training I did for Bayshore Christian Ministries located in the San Francisco Bay Area. We went to a wonderful retreat site in the Northern California redwood forests.

Click to play the opening session

This session is the ICL overview & the Personal Shield activity

Click To Play

Learning Exercises

2007-06-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

I will upload and link to a list of learning activities used during the ICL retreat.

Frisbee in the rain - BLIP.TV Player

2007-06-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

as you prepare for 4th of July... consider this Christmas Story in May...

2007-05-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

JESUS & THE ELVES

And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn. And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said, "I bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which is Christ the Lord."
"There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee who happened to be strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious symbols, and the stable was on public property where such symbols were not allowed to land or even hover.

"And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene," he said sadly. "That's a no-no, too." Joseph had a bright idea. "What if I put a couple of reindeer over there near the ox and ass?" he said, eager to avoid sectarian strife.

"That would definitely help," said the Pharisee, who knew as well as anyone that whenever a savior appeared, judges usually liked to be on the safe side and surround it with deer or woodland creatures of some sort. "Just to clinch it, throw in a candy cane and a couple of elves and snowmen, too," he said. "No court can resist that."

Mary asked, "What does my son's birth have to do with snowmen?"
"Snowpersons," cried a young woman, changing the subject before it veered dangerously toward religion. Off to the side of the crowd, a Philistine was painting the Nativity scene. Mary complained that she and Joseph looked too tattered and worn in the picture. "Artistic license," he said. "I've got to show the plight of the haggard homeless in a greedy, uncaring society in winter," he quipped. "We're not haggard or homeless. The inn was just full," said Mary. Whatever," said the painter.

Two women began to argue fiercely. One said she objected to Jesus'
birth "because it privileged motherhood." The other scoffed at virgin
births, but said that if they encouraged more attention to diversity in family forms and the rights of single mothers, well, then, she was all for them. "I'm not a single mother," Mary started to say, but she was cut off by a third woman who insisted that swaddling clothes are a form of child abuse, since they restrict the natural movement of babies.

With the arrival of 10 child advocates, all trained to spot infant abuse and manger rash, Mary and Joseph were pushed to the edge of the crowd, where arguments were breaking out over how many reindeer (or what mix of reindeer and seasonal sprites) had to be installed to compensate for the infant's unfortunate religious character.

An older man bustled up, bowling over two merchants, who had been busy debating whether an elf is the same as a fairy and whether the elf/fairy should be shaking hands with Jesus in the crib or merely standing to the side, jumping around like a sports mascot.

"I'd hold off on the reindeer," the man said, explaining that the use of asses and oxen as picturesque backdrops for Nativity scenes carries the subliminal message of human dominance. He passed out two leaflets, one denouncing manger births as invasions of animal space, the other arguing that stables are "penned environments" where animals are incarcerated against their will. He had no opinion about elves or candy canes.

Signs declaring "Free the Bethlehem 2" began to appear, referring to
the obviously exploited ass and ox. Someone said the halo on Jesus'
head was elitist. Mary was exasperated. "And what about you, old
mother?" she said sharply to an elderly woman. "Are you here to attack the shepherds as prison guards for excluded species, maybe to complain that singing in Latin identifies us with our Roman oppressors, or just to say that I should have skipped patriarchal religiosity and joined some dumb new-age goddess religion?"

"None of the above," said the woman, "I just wanted to tell you that the Magi are here." Sure enough, the three wise men rode up. The crowd gasped, "They're all male!" And "Not very multicultural!" "Balthasar here is black," said one of the Magi. "Yes, but how many of you are gay or disabled?" someone shouted. A committee was quickly formed to find an impoverished 'alternative lifestyle' wise-person among the halt and lame of Bethlehem.

A calm voice said, "Be of good cheer, Mary, you have done well and your son will change the world." At last, a sane person, Mary thought. She turned to see a radiant and confident female face. The woman spoke again: "There is one thing, though. Religious holidays are important, but can't we learn to celebrate them in ways that unite, not divide? For instance, instead of all this business about 'Gloria in excelsis Deo,' why not just 'Season's Greetings'?"

Mary said, "You mean my son has entered human history to deliver the
message, 'Hello, it's winter'?" "That's harsh, Mary," said the woman.
"Remember, your son could make it big in midwinter festivals, if he
doesn't push the religion thing too far. Centuries from now, in
nations yet unborn, people will give each other pricey gifts and have
big office parties on his birthday. That's not chopped liver."

"Let me get back to you," Mary said.

Atheist Professor

2007-05-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

Subject: ATHEIST PROFESSOR

INTERESTING CONVERSATION:

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new Christian students to stand and.....

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son?

Student : Yes, sir.

Prof : So you believe in God?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Prof : Is God good?

Student : Sure.

Prof : Is God all-powerful?

Student : Yes.

Prof : My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student :Yes.

Prof : Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Prof : Where does Satan come from?

Student : From...God.. .

Prof : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Prof : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
Correct?

Student : Yes.

Prof : So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof : Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred?
Ugliness? All these
terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student :Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof : Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student : No, sir.

Prof : Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student : No , sir.

Prof : Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof : Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Prof : According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof : Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof : Yes.

Student : No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof : Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't.
If it were you
would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof : So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof : Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of
life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor.
Do you teach your
students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof : If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?.....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.
With all due
respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )

Prof : I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir.. The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

NB:

Have a nice day.. (",)

Urban Youth Workers Institute

2007-05-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

This is a pictoral dialogue of what I experienced this last week in Azusa, California.
Words are not enough, and my photo quality suffers. It would be a great benefit for you to experience this yourself.

Uploaded by rmaxtorres.

Bouncing out to L.A. for a few...
Have not been able to attend UYWI in Azusa for 4 years! Hope I am able to connect with all my compadres to compare notes on what's happening across the country.

Uploaded by rmaxtorres.

Bouncing out to L.A. for a few days.
Billy picked me up in the UYWI van @ LAX. Billy is a missionary to Guatemala and is here to support Larry at the UYWI by driving the van and many other acts of service in the Kingdom

Uploaded by rmaxtorres.

Convention Center

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My good friend Rolly brought Out of the Box Multimedia corporation with all the big guns. As I listened to him tweak the desired outcome methodology, it was obvious that he desires to see hearts impacted deeply as a result of all the efforts. This is not just about noise and pictures... there is a message to be sent out!

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1st starbucks of the day draws John L. and I early in the morning.

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Jerome Wa Asende is a National Rep for Every Home for Christ Burundi. We def need to get behind this guy.

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Calm B4 the Storm
Calm b4...

... to be continued ...